Stool Sample in the Dollar Store
by Girl in My Mirror Is Crying
Summary: Chōchō's cousin Little Bill is coming over to visit.
1. Chapter 1

It was just yet another sexy day in the shitty village of Konoha. Big fucking whoop, nigga. Chōchō Booquisha Akimichi was eating a 59 piece chicken McNugget, an X-tra large fry, and drinking four liters of Welch's grape juice. She was sitting at the computer desk as she was munching down on her food. Crumbs were landing into the keyboard and mouse cursor but the fat biracial girl didn't give a fuck. She was too busy chatting on Skype with Sarada's nerdy ass about recycling water bottles and taking pictures of seagulls at Myrtle Beach. Lil Wayne's first mixtape was playing in the background on a Fisher-Price boom box.

Suddenly, Chōchō felt a rumble in her fupa that travelled through her intestines to her brown anus. It travelled up her buttcrack and through her tu-tu lips causing them to flap wildly in the wind - similar to how a dog's jowls would flutter in the wind as it stuck its head out the window of a car that was travelling 82 mph. The fart sounded similar to a bubbling cauldron that the witch from Snow White most likely used to sterlize her thongs.

"Ewwwwwww, nigga! Did you fart?! XDDD" Sarada asked, giggling frantically like a bowl of apple sauce.

"Shut yo John Travolta lookin' ass up! Yeah, I farted. SO WHAT?!" Chōchō screamed louder than Tim Allen on casual fridays, and proceeded to sign off Skype.

She stared sexily at her desktop image which was of a swimming pool full of Totino's pizza rolls for a few seconds before releasing another shrill fart that sounded like Mariah Carey hitting a high note after ingesting helium from Fred's inflatable dildo. It was such a powerful fart that it stung her booty hole and burned a hole in her Power Rangers panties. "Thank God that I signed off before I released that one," Chōchō sighed in relief and smiled to herself.

"You stupid nigga! You only MINIMIZED the window!" Sarada exclaimed.

Chōchō quickly slapped the webcam around until it fell on the floor and began angrily stepping on it with her stank velociraptor feet. She promptly stood up and left her room and made her way towards her favorite room in the house - the kitchen. She was greeted by her mother's Ghirardelli chocolate complexion.

"Mama, can you make me some meatloaf and chitlins and turkey gizzards?"

"Sure thing, baby." Karui said, pulling the raw turkey necks out of the fridge with her bare hands. "Oh, yeah; I forgot to tell you. Your ugly ass cousin Little Bill is coming over to visit tomorrow afternoon, boo."

"WHAT!? Why?! I HATE that lil peanut headed nigga!"

Karui sighed. "Yeah, I know. I despise that buck-toothed little shithead, too. But, your aunt Brenda wants me to look after him while she goes to a swingers club with your uncle, baby boo boo."

"Why can't Alice the Great's ancient fossilized ass take care of him?!"

"Baby, you know that she's been in a nursing home called Shady Pines for nearly four years now after nearly overdosing on Cream of Wheat." said Karui in a tutti-fruti kinda way.

Chōchō sighed and trudged to the living room to see her father's mammoth sized ass sitting on a custom made recliner eating an extra large bag of Cheetos while watching the 20th season of Judge Judy. Suddenly, an episode ended and a commercial depicting global warming being caused by whales farting into the ozone layer appeared on the ashy screen. That was all Chōchō needed to see before she walked back to her room and slammed the door shut.

Tomorrow was TOTALLY going to suck donkey turds. Damn it all!


	2. Chapter 2

Chōchō picks up her injured webcam and attaches it back to her laptop and maximizes the Skype window she was previously on.

"What up, boo?" Chōchō said absentmindedly as she played with her ears.

"I hear some weird noises coming from my parent's room, nigga," Sarada said.

"Honkey, let's go check it out! They might be having sexual intercourse and ever since my mom installed prenatal control on my computer, I haven't been able to watch porn in like 2 weeks!" Chōchō said exictedly as if she were at Chuck E. Cheeses, rolling up some Oregano inside a blunt.

Sarada was curious too because Konoha Middle School was too poor to afford sex education classes. Instead they chose to spend their funds on classes about learning how to read the back of a Shoney's menu or how to install a ceiling fan. The closest time she's come to ever seeing sex is when Boruto drew a picture of two stick figures scissoring each other in her cubbie in Kindergarden.

Sarada picked up her laptop and faced the webcam in front of her so Chōchō could get a good view of what the fuck was happening. The four-eyed nerdy lil turd walked out of her room, down the hallway, and stood at the door of her parent's room. Luckily for the two lil nosey shits, the door was already cracked open. Sarada adjusted the webcam so they both could see what was happening inside the room. Chōchō gasped at what she saw.

Romantic music that you'd most likely hear on a cruise ship while eating spaghetti was playing in the background. Suddenly, Sasuke appeared and he was wearing fishnets, 7 inch high heels, and a lacy red thong! His heels clicked sexily against the concrete floor and his hips were swaying like Barbara Walters as he walked over to the radio. He changed the station and suddenly "Toxic" by Britney Spears was blaring through the entire house and he rapidly began to twerk and you could see his brown asshole for a split second through the thin material of the thong! Uchiha Barbara Sasuke's booty cheeks were so pale that it looked like he dunked his ass in flour. It was vile, nigga. Just vile.

"EWWWWWWWWWWWWW!" screamed Sarada.

"EWWWWWWWWWWWWW!" screamed Chōchō.

Sasuke jumped in surprise and stopped shaking his ass. He raised his hands up to his face and screamed like the lil blonde haired homie from Home Alone. Sasuke's shrill lil scream was so high-pitched and girly; it made Fred sound like Shaquille O'neal cosplaying as Darth Vader. He quickly covered his nipples and asshole as he ran gayly to the bathroom and hid in shame.

Suddenly, Sakura appeared behind Sarada with her hands on her hips and an angry expression plastered upon her face.

"Uchiha Geraldine Sarada, what the fundip did I tell you about spying on your fruity daddy when he's having his menstrual cycle?!" Sakura barked angrily like your next door neighbor's dog chasing after the mailman as he was delivering your Nicholas Cage pillowcase that you ordered with Amazon Prime.

"Nothing, you turtle anus!" Sarada retorted. "Because this is the first time I actually spied on that froot loop!"

"Uh, excuse me? CARE TO REPEAT THAT, YOUNG LADY?!" Sakura shrieked like Hillary Clinton when she found out she lost the election to a man whose face looked like it was covered in Cheeto dust.

Sarada pulled a microphone from out of nowhere and yelled into it, "NOTHING, YOU TURTLE ANUS! BECAUSE THIS IS THE FIRST TIME-"

Suddenly, Sakura slapped Sarada's nerdy R2D2 face with either a flyswatter or a pooper scooper. Chōchō couldn't tell because she was too focused on the box of Truiscuits that were sitting on the counter behind them. The laptop was dropped to the floor and the webcam was now facing the ceiling. Chōchō sniffered her fingers and they smelt like bread sticks.

"Crikey, mate. Your family is more twisted than a Twizzler," Chōchō said, suddenly feeling her phat belly growl at the mention of the candy. Suddenly, her hairy nostrils could smell the food her mama was cooking in the kitchen so she decided to ditch this popsicle stand. "Bye, Sarada-chan!" Chōchō said sweetly, making a ^_^ face and giving the middle finger to her computer screen. She minimized the Skype window since she was too much of a dunderhead to actually know how to sign off and shut her Compaq laptop.

When she walked into the kitchen, she was greeted by bowls the size of swimming pools filled to the brim with food and a water tower sized pitcher of grape Kool-Aid. As Chōchō sat her phat ass down at the table and took a bite of her delicious Chitlins she asked with a mouthful of food, "Mama, could you make some egg rolls, fried rice and shrimp wonton soup?"

"Sure, bookie."


End file.
